Round 2, day 3.

Today's weight...225.2.

Today's mood: Improving! Optimistic.  Honestly, I feel like I'm eating all the time.  My gut doesn't hurt as much as it did a few days ago.  I was honestly worried that I was going to gain weight because I wasn't eating this much before.  Which was just misperception, of course; I did some food journaling the week or so before I re-started this program and my calorie count was certainly not lacking.  It was just all centralized into one big meal.  Usually in the form of carbs and sugars.  

Food journaling: it's a pain in the butt, but man is it ever effective!  It really makes me realize how much I'm actually eating -- which is usually much more than I think I am.  The last few weeks, I thought I was eating next to nothing, but actually I was eating right around 1200-1500 calories per day.  And I can totally see why now.  Because in my mind, since I wasn't eating much during the day, I'd try to make up for it when I was able to eat.  It's that whole "I have room for that" attitude, and I must get rid of that if I'm going to be successful this time around!!  

Because I AM going to be successful this time around, there is no doubt about that.  

But I digress.  My point was that I do feel like I'm eating all the time, with having these foods every 2-3 hours during the day.  I woke up hungry, but after the first couple of bites I felt better.  After that I haven't felt hungry.  Just like -- oh, it's time to eat again. Le sigh.  

And now's the time where I vent about things that annoy me.  Like people posting "then" and "now" pics on the groups -- now hold on, read the whole sentence before you flip out -- where you can't tell which is the "before" and which is the "now".  Like, seriously!!  This is the case more often than not.  I have to restrain myself from commenting, "Which is which?" or "You look great in both of them!" because honestly, I don't see a difference.  Just goes to prove, I guess, that we are our own worst critics.  I mean, I can look in the mirror and see a difference in my face now than what it was like two weeks ago.  Two weeks ago I felt like my face looked like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  I can see that it's a little slimmer already, but I doubt that anyone else can, so I'm not going to start plastering "then" and "now" pics anywhere.  Maybe it's just me, but I like my "then" and "now" pics to show obvious changes like right now.  My previous ones did.  I haven't taken any "then" (which would be "now") pics this time around yet.  I suppose I should do that, but it's cold and I don't want to put on shorts and a tank top just to have my picture taken.  I could always use by First Round "before" picture.

The other thing that annoys me is the groups in general.  I made it until today before I commented on one with my unpopular opinion (that is to say, my knowledge goes against what the program advises).  It irks me to no end that the "coaches" aren't actually medically trained in any way, shape, or form, and if you know me, you know that I will be damned if I'm going to take medical-type advice from anyone who isn't medically trained!!  I had a go-around with one of the board mods about this last time about a certain topic.  Not the same topic that was brought up today (and not the same group, either).  It just gets on my last nerve. One person asks a question, and 55 people respond with the wrong answer and I roll in with the correct answer and a link to a scientific, academic study to prove it, but that doesn't matter because The Program Doesn't Allow It.  I know that's The Way of Social Media, I get it.  This isn't an isolated incident.  But that doesn't make it any less infuriating when I KNOW I'M RIGHT!!!! But whatever.  I'll do what I know is right, and if they want to be miserable without their caffeine, they can go right ahead.  I'll be over here having my cake and eating it too.  Which really means having my caffeine and drinking it, too, and still losing weight so nyah-nyah-nyah!!! :P

Alright, break's over, time to get back to work.  TTYL!

Round 2, DAY 1: A NEW START!

 My shipment of foods arrived today!!

The first thing I did when I got the box inside was to create "grab and go" bags for the first 2 weeks.  There is a variety of things in this shipment -- some bars, some cereals, some sticks (I know what that means and I don't feel like elaborating right now), some shakes, and some brownies and cookies) so I laid them out in a pleasing combination, grabbed 7 gallon-sized Ziploc bags, and basically planned my next weeks' worth of food (except the one 'real' meal I will have each day).  And that was so much fun, I did it again for the next 7 days.  And then I realized I'd used up almost all of the gallon-sized Ziploc bags, so I neatly stored the rest of the foods away. 

I was going to wait until tomorrow to start.  I didn't know what time the box would be arriving so I didn't want to plan on starting today.  But I hadn't eaten yet when the shipment arrived...so...I'm starting today. :)

My weight this morning was 226.2, so that shall be my official starting weight for Round 2.  

ROUND 2: post 1, T-minus 4 days and counting!

 Oh, my.  Here I am, hanging my head in shame, to confess that I messed up.

I went from an all-time high of 244, down to 182.  Then I got...scared? Cocky?  Scared because it was almost too easy. Scared because my hair was getting a lot thinner. Scared because I didn't recognize myself anymore and good things don't happen to me like that!  So...I started straying from the program.  And stopped losing.  Eventually stopped following it all together.  Put a few pounds back on.  A few turned into 5, then 10, then 20...  etc.

Long story short, after a lot of trial and error (mostly error), and praying, and contemplating, and analyzing, and even more praying. Tried some things on my own, of course.  Finally decided I would go back on the program again, this time with solid commitment NOT to stray, to stick to the plan, and to come up with a plan for After.

So.  My next box is supposed to arrive on Wednesday!  I'm so excited!!! I really am.

Let me explain that, for one thing, for the last few weeks or so, I've had a horrible appetite.  I really have.  I don't know why, but things have tasted off.  No, it's not COVID.  Things taste off and I honestly do just sometimes forget to eat. Until my blood sugar starts to plummet and I need to eat like right now.  But I also don't eat much at a time, first of all because things don't taste right.  Second of all, because I'm having GI issues again, and pretty much whatever I eat is going to make my gut hurt about 15-20 minutes after I eat it. So I'm looking forward to starting the program again because I know I'll be eating small meals every 3 hours and I know those small meals -- actually they're not meals, they're more like snacks -- but they're full of vitamins and minerals, so at least I'll feel better knowing I'm not in danger of malnourishment.

Alright, that's all for now. Let's do this thing!  Again!!