I'm in Obesity Class 1!! Not that that is anything to be happy about, but I started in Obesity Class 2, so it kind of really is something to be happy about!
In a twist that has actually been a huge change for me, I have been really lax about the scale lately. Mainly due to the aforementioned frustration with the lack of consistency and, therefore, reliability with our home scale. The little games I was playing with "best two out of three" (which, after I read what I wrote, sounded completely and utterly insane) don't even hold up anymore, because in the course of two minutes on that thing, I can get results varying from 2 to 15 pounds. A difference of 2 pounds is okay, a difference of 15 pounds is not.
But this isn't such a bad thing. I'm breaking my addiction and reliance on a dang number defining my sense of self-worth. I'm sticking with the plan because I know it works, and I'm noticing the differences in other ways. I see the changes in my body -- my face looking slimmer, I can actually feel and almost see my collar bone again, my cankles are almost gone, and my knee caps are slowly emerging again as well!
My eating habits have changed dramatically as well. I was at Walmart the other day after work, and typically after a stressful day at work such as I've had lately, a Walmart run after work would guarantee my picking up something chocolate and peanut buttery and scarfing it down on the way home. But I didn't! Although I did have a moment, walking by the display of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs...my kryptonite. It was a momentary twinge, not even long enough to call a craving, it was more like an "awwww, I miss those," moment. I can have one next year.
But then, I got home, and my Scentsy mystery bags had been delivered!! And with each mystery bag (I'd ordered two) was a small bag of candy. And each one had a small Reese's PB cup. I held off for a a while, then said eff it, and had one. And before I knew it, I'd had both PB cups and one of the Kit-Kats (mini-size, so only two "fingers". That's how they were listed in MyFitnessPal -- Kit Kat "fingers"). The PB cups were heavenly but I felt bad almost immediately for eating them. I only felt a little better after doing damage control and looking them up on MFP to discover that I really hadn't gone as overboard on the carbs and sugar as I thought I had. But the Kit Kat didn't taste as good as I'd hoped it would have, and I was really embarassed about how quickly I wolfed it all down. It really is like an addiction. Once I made the choice to open and eat that first PB cup, I knew I was going to end up eating the other one and probably the Kit Kats, too. There's still one Kit Kat left, and some Hershey's kisses. I'll give them to the hubby when he gets home Saturday.
Other than THAT, I have been doing very well at staying on track with eating. Nothing really sounds good. I haven't had any intense cravings that can't be quenched with water or distraction. A lot of times when I feel like I'm hungry, I drink more water and then I feel full. I need to drink more water anyway! Food just isn't very appealing anymore. On the weight-loss groups I follow on FB, people are always posting new recipes that fit the program, and hacks they've come up with for the pre-packaged foods we can have and all that, and none of it appeals to me. For one, I like the pre-packaged snacks because they're pre-packaged and ready to go the way they are; why would I want to spend more time making them into something else? I don't like cooking! I don't need to incorporate them into "real meals" to get them down because I like them just the way they are. And for another, I don't want to take my favorite meals and substitute the things I love about them with things that are "better" for me. I don't have many favorite meals. I like lasagna alright, but I'd rather skip it than try to make it with zucchini noodles instead of real pasta noodles.
When I was young, I was a very picky eater. I can't tell you how much time I spent alone at the table after supper staring at partial plate of cold food because I wasn't going to be allowed to leave until I cleaned my plate. There was an unofficial short list of meals that my Mom made for which I was allowed to have a PB&J sandwich that night, because I wouldn't eat the actual meal anyway, but it was a really short list. Because I inherited my stubbornness from both sides, ha ha ha!
I don't know what happened. I don't know when that changed. I think I'm still a pretty picky eater. I like bland foods. Maybe that's part of the reason my hubby does most of the cooking. The other night, I was making tacos for the boy and I (since the hubby's out of town) and was boiling up a chicken breast on a pan on the stove to make pulled chicken with. And the boy was watching me and it was about halfway done and he was like, "Aren't you going to season that?" It honestly hadn't occurred to me. I like bland. I would've been perfectly happy with it the way I was doing it, but since he said something, I added some spices to it.
Anyway, I should get to work now. I might try adding new batteries to the scale (like I keep threatening to do) and see if that makes a difference, and then just weigh myself every week or so at work, but that sucks because then I have to subtract 8 pounds and I would just like to see my real, accurate weight!
Alright. Thanks for reading. See ya next time!
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